Is it normal to hate your wife




















When a man comes home from a day at work and his wife is on her phone, not paying attention, ignoring the kids, you can understand, too, how lonely it makes a person feel. Marriage counselors typically hear complaints from men that they are not getting enough sex in the marriage.

But when the matter is not even communicated, it leaves a guy feeling rejected , and resentment builds up. If a man does want sex and he is not getting it in the marriage, it can lead to much anger, even depression. Women want emotional intimacy to make love, and men express their emotional intimacy through sex. And when a woman gets angry with her husband or wants something from him, she will often withhold sex or use it as a bargaining chip.

Unfortunately, for a woman, trying to change her man can be dangerous because it can backfire and disappoint her, putting the relationship on the rocks. But maybe you have noticed that your wife is doing all the decision-making in your relationship; from the smallest stuff to the really big stuff.

Some parenting styles like what dad brings to the relationship and to the kids such as rough-and-tumble play offers children special bonds and unique, developmental benefits. Men get resentful when they see their children growing up with obvious gaps in their independence and competency. Try and figure out if you want to work it out or not. Talk to her about your feelings and that you plan out working it out or not. Make your plans and seek counseling with her if you want to fix things up.

Otherwise, start divorce proceedings. Why does a man lose interest in his wife? According to relationship therapist Aimee Hartstein, a licensed Clinical Social Worker, she says the first year is the hardest, even if you have lived together before. Even if you have been together for a few years, getting married and starting married life can always be a bit tricky; it takes adjusting. Sometimes the intimacy just starts to disappear. It usually is one of the most common causes of marital problems.

On your wedding day, you never ever believed that the romantic feelings you felt for your wife would start to die or that they would die completely. You would have found it hard to believe that in a few years you would have already started to resent your wife to the point of hating her at times. You can insist on you and your wife going to counseling appointments — you be the one to set them up. If she refuses, you could show her that you are serious about getting things right and tell her you want this prior to dishing out divorce papers.

You share interests, get along well, and can usually resolve conflict without much difficulty. All in all, you consider yourself pretty lucky, romantically speaking. Feeling like you hate someone you actually love is confusing at best and frightening at worst.

Is the relationship doomed? Are you some kind of monster incapable of true love? Probably not. Still, these feelings are worth exploring. In a set of experiments , researchers found evidence to suggest that thinking about romantic partners can provoke both positive and negative emotions. In other words, you can simultaneously love and hate your partner. While research exploring relationships has long held this as generally true, these results offer the first empirical support for this idea.

These experiments also found that negative feelings are often implicit, meaning you may not even be aware of them most of the time. Your explicit feelings toward your partner — the ones front and center in your brain — might be mostly positive. On a deeper level, you likely have some negative feelings, too most people do.

Romantic relationships, and love in general, are complicated. In this way, hate often acts as a stand-in for intense or strong emotions that are tough to describe. You might have a lot of reasons for disliking Mondays, but listing them out might take a while and annoy you even more. Similarly, during a heated disagreement, you might feel angry, disappointed, hurt, confused, and betrayed — or some other complex blend of emotions.

Early on in the relationship, you and your partner may have spent most of your time together. While healthy relationships should involve familiarity and time together, for your relationship to thrive, you need time alone, too.

Solo time can also help you come to terms with minor annoyances that might otherwise build up and create less-manageable frustration. These are the little things you may have already decided not to bring up, like random off-key humming or toe-tapping while watching TV. Maybe you take some of that alone time to make a list of the things you love about your partner, despite those minor annoyances. After a difficult day at work, you get home to find out your partner ruined a hand-carved wooden salad bowl by putting it in the dishwasher.

The bowl was a gift that meant a lot to you. In that moment, you hate everything : your job, yourself , the dishwasher, and your partner. Unaddressed depression , stress , job overwhelm or burnout , and anxiety can create tension in the strongest relationships.

They may not be able to resolve your symptoms, but they can still support you with compassion and understanding. Regularly feeling like you hate your partner can suggest the relationship may not be working out. As distressing as it can feel to consider this possibility, it does happen. You may simply not be an ideal match for each other. If you feel unsupported or unheard, consider the possibility your partner may not know exactly how to support you.

Convinced the relationship has run its course? Did they do or say something cruel, harmful, or otherwise problematic? Are you really experiencing hatred and disgust, or can you put a more specific name to that emotion? There will be days when you may hate your wife, and then there will be days when you feel immense love for her.

To make your relationship right with her, know the reasons behind your hatred and try to work on them.

There is a lot that can go wrong between couples. Here are some reasons why you could hate your wife. In a marriage, partners should contribute equally to make it work smoothly. But when one partner slacks in any way, it causes a misbalance, affecting the marriage. Your wife may have too much on her plate already or probably prioritizes work over family, which is why she may not be able to contribute to family affairs. You may find her negligence irksome and resent her for the same.

Do you find your wife neglecting you all of a sudden? For example, her new job might be stressing her, or if you have had a baby, your wife has probably devoted all her time and attention to the little one.

As a result, you feel that she neglects you and prioritizes your child or work. Such instances may make you dislike her. When couples have differences, they sort them out by talking and debating. But if your wife refuses to speak to you and instead gives you the silent treatment , it can be frustrating and humiliating. Lack of communication can cause irreparable damage to the relationship.

Partners need to make sacrifices and adjustments for a successful marriage. Your wife may not like your certain habits, and instead of adjusting, she may try to change you. She may nag you to change and be constantly behind you. But if you are the only one changing, while she makes no effort to adjust, it can lead to resentment towards her. You work hard to give your wife and children a comfortable life.

However, when you return home after a tiring day at work, you expect peace. Her inconsiderate behavior can hurt you, leading you to dislike or hate her. Physical intimacy is an integral part of marriage. If your physical needs are not met, it may cause frustration.

Your wife may often be tired from work or looking after the children and might have lost interest in sex.

You need to make efforts to help her regain her lost interest. However, despite your efforts, if she shows no change or withholds love, it can take a toll on you and make you hate her. Respect for each other keeps the relationship going. But when she does not consult you or even inform you, you might feel disrespected and angry.



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